no threat

Jurnei,

i really dislike knowing that these past 15 years threatened my being.

by religion.  by religious leaders.  by emptiness.

Jurnei, it does anger me.

i don't like having one good day out of 15.

when i was with You, i had 21 great evenings and mornings out of 21.

and this is what i asked to come back into?

reminders of why i should be dead?!

reminders from ecclesia everywhere i turn.

Jurnei, happiness is no where here but within.  and that too is deadening.

this is a different christmas but still all the same.

lonely without You.

a wasted last 15 years.  she wasted 10 of them.  and if i wasted it too, that is 25 wasted years within 15!

can You relight that?  can You rekindle what has turned to ash?

just sweep me away, Jurnei.

i am very angry again Jurnei.

my life was threatened and she just stood by!!!