the near end

Jurnei, i plead my case:

35+ years in religion that preached i have to earn happiness.  not happy about that.
16 years resurrected and still alive.  wanting to be happy about that.
15 years rejected by ecclasia.  not happy about that.
8 years married.  i was happy about that and i still am and it feels like i'm trying to look for the BAD times to justify the divorce.  not happy about doing that.
2.5 years a divorcee.  not happy about that.  but separated from the abuse: happy about that.
2 years an 11ad.  i am happy about that.
1 year with a young christian group.  happy about that.
10 days off my stupid ass drugs!  i am happy about that.
multiple christmasses with families, friends, loved ones and no one.  somewhat happy about that.
last christmas physically abused and scarred by love.  not happy about that.
christmas 10 years before that physically scarred and physically abused, also by love.  not happy about that.
this christmas emotionally still scarred.


NOW TIME: every fucking day i rise it is the demons of others that haunt me all day.
night exists not, for i find no sleep with the wicked.
night is beautiful but during the day there are wolves walking around in sheep's clothing.
they snore with the flock; growl at the weak and mock the un ordinary.

i am not a judge or a jury or an executioner.
my Trinity is the Jury and They commend me for standing my ground.
but Trinity will answer my requests and though my request be to get rid of the fakers, ha, that will not make me lonely.
i will rejoice when the pharisees are removed.
most will weep for their loss for it seems, to them, better to join the ranks of "the strong", the brute.  
i will be and AM weak in our Creators eyes.
and i find rest in that.
They provide my weaponry.
They promise victory.
the religions of this world will no longer intimidate me.
the powers are not greater.
the principalities will also never intimidate me.
they make their presence easily known.

if any, from our human race, sides with the wraiths you will be dealt with, immediately.  the end is near.

praises!