i aM todaY

today i am still.

today i am still me.

today i am still alive.

today i am still me being who my Creator made: me.

today i am still all of me.

today i have realized my value neither changed or changes me.

today i have always been whom i was created to be: me.

today i lost none of me.

today i gained the same as me.

today i equal yesterdays and tomorrows me.

today i still saw me.

today i welcomed me.

today i honored me.

today i was there for me.

today i was there with me.

today i tried to stay here in the now.

today i tried to see the new.

today i saw more of the no.

today is like every other day.

today is not me. yet

i am today.

still.

me.

alive.

separation

dear Jurnei!

i am full of the head aches.
i have enjoyed 2 hours of this morning SO MUCH and the enjoyment is seeping away from my being.
twill take a long long long time to be completely disapated but the scratching away of it is what pains me.
my eye lids are so heavy, filling with lava.

M, i love your being.  i love your attitude!  it is so refreshing and reassuring!  it sings of joy!

your eyes glow a glow so alluring, transient, and calming ..... .....

Jurnei, refresh our hearts.
keep mine aglued to Yourz.
Trinity!  i rarely get befriended by one who is so sweet and caring and loving!
and her precious flavor is peeled away from me.
i memorize her smile for it is amazing!
and i praise You for that.
i praise You for her.
i praise You for life!
i praise You for her life!



serenity sweep away my sorrow and sing soothingly for me.

please don't ever divide our friendship to the realms of forgotten.

may i rest in peace ... ... ... .. .. .. . . .

two missing months

October and November i am sorry i lost you.
you are two of my favorite times of the year and we were separated.
our time together last year was gray and dismal due to circumstantial traps.

life could have ended.
death could have entered.

time, the envelope, opened up.

new sources?  new details?  new players?
yes to one of those questions.  and yet, i must refocus!

to see the answer to "why am i still here" i must FOCUS!

but on what?!  who?!  why?!

this is a "new year" but the questions remain.  unanswered.

and i feel they laugh at me.

oh this game ... ... .........